family

Its been a long time i never post here..
i guess its because something happened.
then only i will post here..

i know..i know its all my fault
im the one who cheat on u
im the one tt lied so much

i yap dao chuan,23 this year
im mariadged and i have a son
he is yap tian you (adriel)
dear baby,
no matter wat happen when u grow up
be strong,,
papa really love u so much
this night
i cried in front of u
a lot,,sad,,
whenever i think tt i cant see u anymore
i cant stop myself from crying
papa bad,,
papa do something tt hurt ur mama
pls love ur mama always..

Dear wife,angela
thank you so much for wat u did
thank you for bringing baby to this world
but i guess
i made his life and ur life sucks
sorry ya
maybe untill i die u also wont forgive me

I WILL LEAVE U WITH MY BABY
its always sound so easy for u

I DONT WANT ANYMORE
i dont understand

URE SO USELESS
im agree with it

because of passion
a lot people will success
but they have to sacrifice a lot

and me
because of my personal life
i sacrifice a lot to hide myself
running from the reality

I LOVE U ALL,U KNOW?
for u its just like dont make me stupid
enough yap
i had enough of this

and i wonder why a family will broke tt easy
karma??
well i believe tt
maybe few year later i will be a monk

I REALLY DO LOVE U ALL SO MUCH

the reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears

再一次，我又哭了。。
原来当一个天使，是这么的难。。
我以为我可以做得到，
但我发现，原来我也是凡人一个。。
你以为我喝酒是为了爽吗？
也不是为了好睡点。。
喝太多，不用想这么多，晕了多好。。
喝太少，想得更多，越哭越痛苦。。
最近的你，变了很多，
我们也不像以前那样了。
话题少了，见面也少了，
连想我也少了。。
人生就是这样。。
每一次我爱的人，却不是爱我的人。。
我心里有话想说，心里的痛你懂吗？
有太多太多的情感覆水难收。。
也许你我的缘份就这样短吧，
没关系，我认命，我sui!!
如果你有了新的目标，
请你告诉我吧，
别让我这样猜测下去。。
因为这样比暗恋还来得痛苦你懂吗？？

My decision

Well...

i had made up my mind to leave her..

its quite hard for me,

but i will try my best..

And yah..we have no relation at all,

juz that i think too much..

That's the end of our stories,yes?

happy together with him ya..

byee...

BenBen&WuTao

Well..its been a long time i didnt upload blog..
This few weeks there's lots of things happen in my life..

The good news is i already let my ex go..

The good news is im falling in love with a girl..

I like to talk with her,

coz its comfortable..

She's really a good girl..

But,we wont have ending..

Coz i think i will not start it..

i know that she's still loving HIM..

So,i don wanna make her life more suffering..

When i look into her eyes,

i saw its all bout him..

She cried in front of me,coz she's worry bout HIM..

Well,i didnt do much..

jus give her few hugs..

And try to make her comfortable..

This feeling is complicated..

That night i told her that i already let her go..

but i think she wont know that i didnt..

That night is the 3rd times i cried for her..

But i didnt ask for more..

i juz wan her to happy always..

i wish her can happy together with that boy,

that's already good enough for me..

Bless u from my heart..

Lastly,i juz wanna tell u that,

Smile always..=)

p.s

Pls don mind that i put ur photo here,

there's the only memories for me..

no one

hey baby,
its been 1 month we seperate..
do u miss me?
maybe for 1 sec?
im doin good right now..
but im still missing u..
i think u don know bout it,
coz i promise myself wont text u,
coz that will hurt me..
they say time will help me to forget u,
but i think its take few years,maybe?
i used 3 years on my 1st ex...
are u doin good too?
feels free without my control?
maybe someday later,u will know its for ur own good..
but nvm...now i let u to walk ur own way..
sometimes i really hate u,
coz u doin something that i don like u to do..
but then u never know bout it,
i make the pain for myself,
then i suffer it back..
love you= hate you...
i think im not suitable for love..
im sucks on it...
i don mean to hurt anyone,
juz that u all didnt know me well...
if u say im controlling u too much,
then did u think bout why am i doin so?
don tell me that u are sorry..
coz its not worth if u dono why am i doin so...
oh ya...now i don have feel with beers anymore,
now i like chiwas+beers..
only can cover all those sad feels..

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 weeks

its already 2 weeks that we broke up...
and i think we changed a lot...
theres no more sweet but juz argue...
and i know its my fault..
coz keep argue with u....
sometimes i feels like dieing...
coz this time really hurt me too much...
i gave you all my heart...
and now my whole heart is bleeding..
i feels like im going to hurt myself....
so that i know im still alive with the pain...
or maybe can someone drunk me up???
JD+beers? redwine + beers? graveyard???5 bucket of beers?
if anyonefeels wanna drunk me up...
pls call me...anytime..anyplace...
u pay the money...
i pay my life....

Broken Hearts

baby...today is 5th of september...
and u know today is wat day?
its our 3rd month aniversarry..
and we broke up the day before this...
although im asking u to letting me go...
but then do u know i really suffer when im saying that...
and now its all over...its over...
I LOVE YOU STILL BABY..
i have no more chance to cook ur favorite mushroom soup and carbonara again..
i have no more chance to hugs u when u're cool..
i have no more chance to kiss you..
i wont forget our memories together..
and now im leaving u d...
pls do take care of urself...
i really hope that u wont luan shui anymore...
this is a last things that baby hope...
i dono when will u saw this text..
but when u saw it..pls think back of our times..
I LOVE U AND SORRY FOR WAT I DID..
goodbye baby...
9.20pm 5th october 2009
by mehmeh..
with a broken heart..its still bleeding..

fuck off

this text is for those mother fucker in my life..
in front of me act like brother..
behind me???
u juz threat me like a sohai..
i wan u to know that don think i dono wat was happening ok??
don think i was that dumb..
if u wanto fuck me face by face then juz come..
i wait u at ipoh..
if u wan the things then juz take it..
don do so much things behind me..
btw...
the things doesnt mean much to me..
juz a machine for me..
if u wan then take it..
coz its already used by me..
o0o o0o

speechless

im really speechless now..
nothing that i can do now..
no one know how i feel now..
i ned someone to talk with..
but theres no one..
nvm la nvm la..
let it be....
let me become like this..
promise = rubbish..
let me die with those rubbish..
when my times come..
forget the wrong that ive done..
help me leave behind some..
reason to be missed..

一星期的爱

这一个星期我真的很开心,
虽然也有痛苦的时候,
但,我觉得值得吧..
其实我有很多话想跟你说的啊,
但,我觉得你应该听不进去吧..
因为你不想伤害到他..
这次的分手,
是我这一生分得最开心的..
我也不知为何我会开心..
也许是因为你找到了你的真爱,
但对我来说那不是真爱,
但,也没办法啊,
只好祝福你..
也许有一天我会后悔..
我会很伤心..
但一个人痛,好过两个人痛..
对吗?
也许有一天你会看到这个blog
但,我想,你不会再来看了吧..
现在的我还是爱着你..
我会等你的..
至少现在的我是真的这样想的..
11-7-09 雨
今天我真的为你哭了..
如果..如果有一天..
你看到了这个blog..
你会想起我吗??
我想我想可能就一下下吧..
我说我不痛,是骗人的..
但骗不到我自己..
这一刻的你,
应该在开开心心的和男友在一起了吧..
当我抱着你的那一刻,
是这个世界最开心的一刻..
我真的真的爱上了那一刻..
可否别忘了那一刻??
我爱你!!
我不会忘了这段恋情..
谢谢你给了我一个美好的回忆..

langkawi

westin

my plating..

Tertutup sudah pintu ..
pintu hatiku
Yang pernah dibuka waktu hanya untukmu
Kini kau pergi dari hidupku
Kuharus relakanmu walau aku tak mau
Berjuta warna pelangi didalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi
Tak ada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi
Dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku
Kubersedih kerna panah cinta menusuk jantungku
Ucapkan matahariku puisi tentang hidupku
Tentangku yang tak mampu menaklukan waktu
Berjuta warna pelangi di dalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi
Takada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi

broken heart

im in pain
fall in love with a girl that doesnt love me
lol
finally i know the feel that wanna cut myself
i promise myself wont think too much
but i cant
i dono wat to do
im very blur..
but i know i will stand up someday
and do the things that i have to do..

一辈子两个人在一起　
你说要加个或许
不是你不喜欢甜言和蜜语　
只是你比较实际
两个人一辈子不分离　
你问我好在哪里
不是你不期待永恒的恋曲　
你说最美的爱情叫回忆
为何连分手都不跟我争吵　
撂下一句话就想逃跑
让我爱难平恨难消情难灭梦难了心难过　
你却放手
一了百了
离开我你说是为了我好　
可知道这句话伤人不少
就算忘不了
没有大不了　
反正一切都不再重要
我的心既然你全都不了　
何必再继续彼此困扰
斩断纠缠的爱　
从今就一了百了

birthday

this is a late post bout my birthday

the people that wishes me:







leng leng









rara

poh yan


teng teng



tiramixu




anna


my birthday party in voodoo ipoh.


with ah yan

with melissa

with ah qian

with joey

with nichole

with cici

with vicky

tracy andsiew mei

best bro chris

my real bro david

bro in ipoh,kent

making a wish




thx for those people that accompany me for that day..

and my bro in kl..

thx for ur over rm300 meal..

pls take good care of urself..

peace..